FIBROMYALGIA

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue in 1998 and am learning to manage the on going pain and fatigue that goes with this illness. I am learning to take care of myself. I am listing below some links if you would like to know more about Fibromyalgia.










"Fibromyalgia is a syndrome that includes serious fatigue as well as chronic muscle pain and specific point tenderness, usually in associations with sleep problems, fatigue, stiffness, headaches, facial pain, abdominal discomfort, irritable bladder, numbness or tingling, and problems thinking. The cause is not known, but physical therapy and other techniques may provide significant benefit and improve the quality of life."

Source: Web Md

"Time cannot steal the treasures that we carry
in our hearts, nor ever dim the shining thoughts
our cherished past imparts."

Dedicated to Lorna Brooks

I only met you in Nineteen Ninety seven
Now you have gone to God in heaven
You were my fathers cousin, we had only met
She be joking around with him, I bet

A wonderful lady who took me in to her heart.
It had been 51 long years we had been apart.
Last time she saw me I was two in a nightie
We next met when I was 51, God almighty

Wed been apart for so many years
Yes we hugged and shed some tears
She told me stories about my dad
For that I will always be so glad.

She took me in as one of her family,not a visitor
Took me to met her cousin, my Aunty Lois, my fathers sister
For a reunion that will always be a healing light in my heart.
To heal all the wounds of the time we were apart.

She gave me a beautiful piece of jewellery as a gift
I will treasure it for ever, to give my spirits a lift.
Lorna was so warm and so jolly
Yes she love her packets of lollies

Breakfast was banana and toast
She was a wonderful host
After ice cream, she must have a cup of tea,
This was a delight and so special to me.

Lorna dear Lorna you are now gone
To be with God and your husband beyond
My heart goes out to Michelle, Wendy and Murray
Knowing they will be missing her,,life in a scurry

Louissa and Jason I know she loved you so
She wrote and told me stories of both of you, you know
She was so so proud of you two
Just as she was of her other grandchildren too

Aunty Lorna as you rest in peace with God on high
I will always remember you as I look to the sky
The lovely long chats we had on the beach
Yes you will always love T Point the beautiful reach?

Just remember in the short time I knew you
We were family through and through
You helped me find my dream
Now you rest in peace, a smiling beam

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
PAMELA.
27. 01.2000

Dear Nakita 

I will miss your impish face~~

I will miss your twinkling eyes~~

I will miss your impatient barks~~

I will miss your wagging tail~~

I will miss you much, my dear Nakita.

You kept me happy thru my darkest days~~

Blows made soft with your comforting licks~~

I will miss you much now that you are gone~~

But remember that in my heart you will always stay.

I have grown a tree where now you lie~~

Through my window I will watch it grow~~

And know that there you lie in peace...

in quiet...and without pain~~

I will surely miss you, my beloved Nakita..

May you Rest in Peace~~

I Love You~~

Pamela

Back to Pamela's Page

WHO CAN I TELL?

WHO CAN I TELL? A poem by a South Australian Mother. Who can I tell that my child is Gay? Oh, My God what will they say? Telling my friends about my son, I knew I just could not tell just anyone. I had to pick the time and the place, And openly tell them face to face. My heart would be scared and skip a beat inside, As I tried to explain, yet wanting to hide. Who can I tell? Who will accept me as I am? Boy it must be hell on my young man. To keep a secret deep in ones soul, For society says being Gay is not whole. Who can I tell? Who can I tell? For young Gay people it must be hell As who can I tell my story to, Who can I tell? Will it be you? Will you still accept myself and my son? Or do you want to just leave and run? Run from the truth of another human being, Like it is never to be heard or never to be seen. Well I will tell you now and it is up to you, To my son and myself I have to be true. If you do not accept myself and my son, Our friendship is over, over and done. Because my son did not choose to be this way, Nature’s genes are what makes human beings Gay. So believe it or not it is up to you, My son comes first and to him I am true. True to him as any Mother can be, My son is GAY, HAPPY, REAL and FREE. by Pamela D.V.W. 1994. BEING GAY. My young son came to me one day, He looked at me and said nervously, Mum I am Gay. I looked at him, hugged him and smiled, I always knew he was a special child. My only child and he is Gay, What do you think I would say? Well it was hard to assimilate at first, For mothers have great dreams for their children at birth. To grow up be happy, and marry some day, So as I could have grand kids to take out to play. So my dreams as a mother were not to be, I was just so glad my son was at last free. Free to be with his own kind, So as his mother I do not really mind. To know my son is true to himself, Not trying to be somebody else. To teach other people is now my mission in life, TO UNDERSTAND HOMOSEXUALITY AND THAT IT DOES NOT MEAN STRIFE. My son being Gay has brought me so much joy now that he is free, He will always be the most courageous and precious son to me. Yet 1 year after I wrote this my son divorced me and IO have had not contact for 15 years Pamela D.V.W. 1995

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

My name is Pamela. I was born in New Zealand in 1946. I have had a very traumatic life yet I seem to be able to rise above all my mistakes and adversities with an unknown strength from within.

One of my friends recently told me I am one of the most courageous people she has ever known. That was a great gift for me to hear and I appreciated her honesty and it gave me a much needed lift. It still does.


I was born to 2 parents but my mother left my father when I was two years old and I can still remember my screams as I was taken away from my beloved father who adored me. I, to this day cannot stand the screams of a child without it distressing me somewhat inside my being.


My mother and grandmother moved around about 6 times before I was five years old. My brother Les was only 3 months old when my mother left my father. From here on my life was one of many moves at least once a year until I was 16 years old.


My mother and stepfather were share milkers so it was always in May that we moved in the middle of school terms. I just used to be too scared to go to yet another new school. Consequently I did not do very well at school. I wonder why?~~
I was abused by my stepfather and was raped by my step uncle. I was taken advantage by elders of a church in a sexual way also. All this under the age of 16. I was sent to boarding school at 16, after I had worked in a cake shop for 1 year after leaving school in order to pay my boarding school fees. I got nothing for myself in terms of money. It was taken from me each payday.


I was an ill child and had jaundice at 8 years old, badly sunburnt at about 9 years old and at 16 years old, I had my gall bladder out as I had gallstones. I had this massive operation (in those days) all alone, as I was at boarding school. No family member was with me.
I became very promiscuous and by the time I was 20 lost count of the older men who seemed to want to abuse me. Back then I was just looking for love.


I married my first husband Terry in 1966 against my mother and stepfather's wishes and they did not even come to my wedding even though the church ( Seventh Day Adventist) paid for it.


In 1967 I came to Australia as my husband's brother lost his wife in childbirth and he wanted to be with his mother, father and brother. I was then to find Terry was in trouble with the police. He and a friend were on the run and I was soon left in Sydney after about 4 house moves to find myself alone with no family.


I was so distraught I tried to commit suicide. I ended up in hospital where I was again abused by a Psychologist who got me out of hospital and I was his mistress. He was about 15 years older than me. He took me to the Kings Cross where he kept me in an expensive apartment. I had a hit man put his gun on me numerous times. It was a horrible time for me.
I came to Adelaide, South Australia in 1969 when my husband was arrested. He went to jail and I stood by him. Yet when he got out all his con tricks started again and he then got a woman pregnant. I helped to support her. That is my compassionate side coming out.


In 1970 I met my son's father and we had an unusual relationship. He was 12 years older than me and we really did not have much in common. I was alone and he needed a house keeper. Yet my precious son was born out of that union. We married in 1976 after living together for 6 years and we broke up 6 weeks after the wedding. My son's father continued to live with his mother until she died in 1993. She was a lovely lady but I could not live with her, hence the reason we broke up. My son's grandfather died in our bed in 1977.


I lived alone with my son until 1980 when I met husband number three. After 18 months of his conning and him stealing a car and disappearing for five months, I lost my home and had to go bankrupted due to his dishonest practices. Yet I had a very long 19 years of friendship with his Aunty and Uncle who became like parents to me. Aunty Doris died in 1997 and Uncle Allen in 1998. I was heart broken. I miss them both.


I went out with various men yet again for 15 years on my own. I met a man who murdered his wife while I was seeing him. I was beaten up at my front door by a woman and many other horrible things happened to me. Yet I still managed to bring up my son as best as I could and I completed Women's studies course(diploma) in 1982. In 1983 & 1984 I completed my Associate Diploma In Community Work. I will always remember my graduation day. I was so proud. I completed a massage course and began to work from home part time. I also did store demonstration work.


I unfortunately had a car accident in 1985 and am now paying the consequences of that accident now. I got nothing in compensation. I had just got my first real job when it happened. However I supported a friend Tanya who got Motor Neurone Disease and I nursed her for 4 years until she died in 1991.


I then found out my son was being abused by a young man we lived next to and at 15 years old he went to live with his father. I was so distraught as I never thought another man would hurt my son. Even though I was very aware of abuse I did not understand that a man could also abuse a boy. I was so naive.


In 1990 I started my own weight loss business but in 1992 I had to go bankrupted yet again. I lost my mother, my cousin, a good friend, and Tanya all in one year. I had a major collapse. I wonder why?~~
I was on good terms with my son and he used to visit me regularly and vice versa. I thought we had a very good mother-son relationship and all my friends thought we did too. In early 1994 he came and told me he was gay. I did not have a problem with that and supported him through this period and became involved with PFlag. Parents of gay children and I am still involved today. I used to go out with my son and he became a more confident man. Our relationship was good I thought.


Then I met my fourth husband in September 1994 and we got married in May 1995. It was far too quick. My only full sibling my brother Les committed suicide 3 weeks after I got married. I gave my son his 21st party in Sept 1996 and then had to have another operation in the October. That would be my fourth major operation.


Then in 1997 I found my 80 year old Aunty in New Zealand. My father's sister. My father I found out died in 1969 at only 55 years of age. I went to New Zealand six months later and met her and my three new cousins and their families. I was accepted with open arms.


On my return my son told me he wanted nothing to do with me and I was a terrible mother and he has refused to speak or see me for over two years. He did this the day Princess Diana died. I will never forget it. This rejection from my son is the most painful and distressing than all of the above. I just pray he reconciles with me before it is perhaps too late. All I can do is pray.


My cousin John died in 1997 and I just felt like my world was falling apart. My marriage was not working for me as my ex ( I have been separated 5 months now) was into pornography, drink and I just couldn't live with him any more.
I am now going through a messy property settlement and had to leave my home and rent in order to keep myself safe. I got a house through Women's Housing as I was a victim of domestic violence yet again.


 I have been in my new home just over two weeks and I am now beginning to feel a lot better. 

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue in 1998 and am learning to manage the on going pain and fatigue that goes with this illness.

 I am learning to take care of myself. I do not feel I have been hard done by . I feel I have a lot of compassion and empathy with others due to my experiences in life. I now do spiritual readings and have a very good name in this area. It is a very special gift I have.

 I get referral's from others. I have very good friends whom I treasure as they have got me through many a time. 

My passions in life are my Pekinese dogs Henry and Nakita. My kitten Cleo. I love photography, crafts, and gardening. I love nature, poetry, natural health and healing. I am interested in Antiques and unusual green ware called depression glass. 

I also enjoy genealogy research. I love talk back radio and am very well known in this area as I speak quite often. I was interviewed recently about being a self taught mature person on the computer. It went well.
I love flowers, butterflies and yes, I do believe in Angels. What keeps me going is~~

"Something good is going to happen today"~~ "Never give up"~~
"Where ever you are at this moment
is exactly where you are supposed to be,
no matter how things may seem to appear"~~ I am thankful for all that I have and am very blessed to know I have a greater power than myself looking after me along with my own self care.

Kia Ora
Pamela (this was written April 2000 much much more to add)

KNOWING LOVE IS NOW

KNOWING LOVE IS NOW

I see the God being in your eyes
Touching the deepest longing in my heart
Absorbing the rainbow colours of your being
As I walk the golden path of Life
The pure light of spirit,
of truth follows me,
leads me, caresses me, Leading me to the resting place within
Peace, inner Love, Forgiveness,
Just being in the presence of my being,
Trusting in you, in the God I see
Loving and accepting the God within me.
Laughing, singing, dancing into freedom.
Freedom to be, that's Love.
Letting the light shine from within,
To the universe, for then we know
That Love is right now,
Unconditional~~

Pamela Du-Valle 






---

YOU ARE MY SPECIAL FRIEND

YOU ARE MY SPECIAL FRIEND

You are my friend and I love you so
You stick by me and let me know
You appreciate all the things I try to do
Never judging, condemning, just guiding me through.

Listening to me with unconditional love
Validating me, with my trust in God above
Helping me to reach my discussions in Life
You knowing its been full of stress and strife.

Yet you are still there holding my hand
Encouraging me to make my stand
You always have my best interests at heart
I know this and it helps me to make a new start.

I need to leave behind the terrible past
Get on with my life, the future is vast
I want to say thank you for believing in me
Helping me to grow. Like a butterfly be free.

I AM A AUSTRALIAN WOMAN.

I AM A AUSTRALIAN WOMAN.

I am a Aboriginal woman my skin is tanned and dark
White man points his finger and tries to leave his mark
He tries to make me do the things he thinks I should do
I just want my culture to practice and pursue
I want my native land, to remain and to be free
To follow my own instincts, white man let me be

You push me and crowd me with all your fancy things
White man and your promises with all the heartaches it brings
This land is our land long before you came to stay
It was ours long before you came to prey
This land is full of beauty, it belongs to my people
You want to take it is that being equal?

I am a Australian woman my skin is smooth and white
Dark man points his finger dislikes me with his might
Trying to make me do the things he thinks we should
I only wish the black man knows I would if I could
This is my native land to remain and to be free
to follow my ideals, Dark man let me be.

The blending of the white and dark race
We all are Australians living our own pace
Lets get on with living, loving with eye to eye and see
With tolerance and forgiveness , with love we can be free.

Free to live together in this wonderful land
Land of milk and honey, lets move together hand in hand
Lets get on with being proud of our country each and everyone
That the year 2000 will be the rising of the sun.

By Pamela Du-Valle



---

WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT

WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHTWhen the time is right,
We will learn our own truth.
When the hour is here
We will know.

When we hear the mystical drummer
Beating in the distant hills
We know that the time is right.

The age of time slowly moves on
Down through the history of mankind
As each hour approaches we suddenly know
That the time is right.

We listen to the music of our souls
We know the melody it plays
The sudden change, the fleeting glimpse
We know the time is right

Listen to your heart and know
That to everyone a season sows
When we listen to that still small voice
We know that the time is right.

By Pamela Du-Valle

SCREAMING FROM MY FATHERS ARMS

As I was taken from my fathers arms my little body was shaking all over and I sobbed on my mothers skirt as she carried my three month old brother to the waiting car. The car was been driven by a neighbor to take my mother and brother and also my mothers mother, my grand mother to a bus in Wellsford, about an hours drive from the farm in Port Albert. My grandmother was a tough woman and was very stern and I was scared of her. Mrs Gillespie who drove us to the bust told me 50 years latter had she realized what was happening she would never of taken us.
   I met Mrs Gillespie when I went back to New Zealand in 1997 and she was in a nursing home but she remembered me and told me the story and she was very sorry what had happened to myself and my brother. We were never seen again for a few years.
Everyone in the district did not know where we were going.
As a 2 year old I do not remember the bus ride but know we were taken to Gisbourne  a town on the east coast of New Zealand.
My father was left behind suffering from malaria which he got while in the Middle East during world war two in 1942.
 A young Maori man found my father very ill at the farm and took him to the hospital for treatment. 
I remember we moved around allot in the first five years of my life and also lived on a farm in Hastings New Zealand.
My mother had been in the Woman's Land army and she was a very strong woman and liked farming.
So I was used to being put on a horse and taken all over the farm as my mother worked. I sometime wonder if that is when The illness I have started way back then?
There were floods and I can remember having to leave the little old run down shack we lived in and taken to a big wool shed where we slept for a week or so until the floods went down. I still can remember the smell of the wool and still like that smell.


When I was about three years old and my brother nearly two. Leslie fell into the river and started to float down the river.
I ran screaming to my mother who was milking cows across the river. I had to run over a small plank to get to her.
My mother came running and she jumped into the river gumboots and all and it was a miracle my brother was saved.
I have always loved the water but my brother didn't and that is why.